How to Plan a Wedding That Actually Feels Like You
If you’ve ever thought, “I want our wedding to feel like us. I don’t want a copy of what everyone else is doing,” you’re already on the right track. The truth is, the most memorable weddings aren’t the ones that go viral, they’re the ones where every detail feels personal and intentional. Here’s how to plan a wedding that actually reflects you, from the big decisions to the smallest details.
Step 1: Don’t start with Pinterest for inspo
Instead of scrolling for ideas first, sit down (just the two of you) and ask:
What are the best days we’ve ever had together?
What would we do if we didn’t have to impress anyone?
What do we want people to feel when they’re there?
You’ll start noticing patterns. Like how much you love slow mornings, or music, or family-style meals, or being outdoors. Maybe you are like GinaMarie & Christopher and can’t imagine your wedding day without your favorite ice cream shop. Or Maddie & Joey whose combined love for natural history led them to getting married in a Dinosaur Museum.
Think about who you are as individuals and as a couple. That’s the good stuff to build your wedding around.
Step 2: Pick 2-3 priorities.
For most timelines and budgets, you probably can’t do it all. So, pick the 2 or 3 things that matter most and let that guide your budget and energy.
If you don’t know what to prioritize, ask yourselves:
What will we actually remember 10 years from now?
What do our guests always remember most about weddings they’ve been to?
Step 3: Make traditions optional, not mandatory.
You don’t have to do a cake cutting. Or have a wedding party. Or wear a white gown.
Maybe you want to switch up the order of events. You can be like Molly & Cody and do a cocktail hour pre-ceremony. Or Madeline & Nicholas who did an intimate ceremony one day, and then a month later hosted a separate cocktail and reception party for all of their friends and family.
Maybe you don’t want to spend your day focused on photos. Carlin & Matt got ready at a lovely rental and the went straight to their Brooklyn restaurant for a ceremony and dance party. No stuffy, posy photo time in the schedule at all.
If you are planning the wedding day and something doesn’t feel fun or meaningful, skip it.
If it feels like a “should,” question it.
You’re allowed to remix traditions or invent your own.
Step 4: Personalize through the senses.
A wedding that feels personal engages the senses in a way that feels like you. Think about:
Music: What’s playing as guests arrive? During dinner? On the dance floor? Create playlists that feels like what would play during a movie about your relationship.
Food + Drinks: Can you serve your favorite comfort food? Signature cocktails with inside joke names?
Scents: Candles, florals, perfumes, even the location itself. Scent plays a massive role in emotional memory, so what do you want the air to smell like?
Textures: Velvet napkins, cozy seating, barefoot-in-the-sand ceremonies — what does your wedding feel like to the touch?
Space: Do you want it to feel expansive and grand or cozy and intimate?
Honey Fox couple Dominique and Geoff wrote an entire brief on what they wanted the day to feel, sound, and smell like (which you can read all about here). The more you think in experiences, the more personal it will feel.
Step 5: Choose vendors who get your vibe.
You’re not just hiring for skill, you’re hiring for energy. You want vendors who ask what matters to you, not just what’s popular or trendy.
They’ll help you figure out how to make it personal without losing sight of the logistics.
(And if you’re wondering, yes, I’m absolutely one of those videographers who wants to hear about your weirdest, most wonderful ideas.)
TLDR?
If you want a wedding that feels like you:
Start with your story, don’t scroll social media for ideas.
Prioritize what matters.
Skip any of the stuff that feels fake.
Engage the senses.
Hire people who get your vision.
You’re not performing, you’re celebrating. And when you focus on that? The film, the photos, the memories will feel like yours, because they will be.
Want help figuring out how to personalize your wedding? Need a videographer who sees you? Need wedding planner referrals? Let’s talk →
